Thursday, October 13, 2011

What 24lbs means to me

It's no secret that I'm overweight. In my eyes, I feel that I've been overweight so long that it's a part of who I am. For years I've been unhappy with my weight, but didn't take weight loss seriously. I would try to "be good" for a week or two, but I would eventually lose my focus and go back to eating like I was 9 months pregnant, even if I wasn't. I wasn't shy about wanting to lose weight either. I talked to several doctors about it and they never really pushed the issue. They would beat around the bush and say thing like, "well, you could lose a few pounds, but overall, you're healthy!" How can a 5 ft 8inches tall girl who weight over 260 pounds be healthy?!? Nothing motivated me, nothing made me want to change...nothing until now.

My Dad.

My Dad died this past August from heart disease, diabetes and over all bad health. These are all things that are treatable with diet and exercise! In 2009 when this whole ordeal started, I started having panic attacks about my health and weight. Did you know that sometimes a panic attack can feel like a heart attack? I would lay in bed thinking I was having a heart attack at 29 years old. Still, it didn't motivate me to change. In my mind I knew I wasn't done having children, so what would be the point in losing weight if I would just gain it back?

Then, I watched my father fade away right in front of me.

First, he lost his toes due to bad circulation. He was confined to wheel chair. Then, two years later he had both of his legs amputated above the knee. A few weeks after that, he lost a leg up to his hip. Then he just slipped away, losing his life because of an infection his body couldn't fight.

I will not let this happen to my children. I will not let them watch me slip away after 60. I want to be there for their children and even there children's children.

That's why I joined Weight Watchers. That's why I've lost 24lbs. That's why I'll keep going until I reach my goal. Nothing can stop me.


Jon Boy said...

Pam i feel for you, why? well because i am overweight as well and i suffer from diabetes and heart failure amongst other smaller issues. i started a diet 3 weeks ago and i currently weigh 273Ibs i originally weighed 350 pounds back in 2007 then diabetes stepped in and i lost the weight before being diagnosed. well 3 weeks ago i was 284Ibs i lost 11Ibs in two weeks and this past week i have lost nothing. the reason i have decided to diet is the reason you gave about you poor father. i have seen and heard of the things that can happen and i am very scared. i have a good family but i am so scared to talk to them about my fears. my problem with dieting in the past has been the wall you hit when nothing falls of and then i lose heart and give up. Today when i weighed myself and saw i hadn't lost anything i felt a little sad, as the two prior weeks i have lost 5½ Ibs each time, but i thought that's good i have not put anything on. i really hope that i can begin to lose it again and plan to start an exercise program from tomorrow, your blog further reminded me of my fate if i don't start to lose this weight...problem for me i absolutely love chocolate with a vengeance..

good luck with yours and i shall follow your progress on here.

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Jonathan x